11.25.2011

His

Unmatched perfection
Life-long protection
Heart's fail detection
Highest ascension

11.21.2011

Staged

rejected
unaffected
defected
lamented
demented
fermented
cemented
Contented
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11.16.2011

A Letter to My Fellow Converts [or reverts]

Dearest,

You give me hope.

When my faith in the humanity of humans becomes fleeting, when the world's attempt at degradation of my faith distills ambition from my soul, a reminder of your recognition and acceptance of truth warms my core, lifts my love, and reestablishes my trust in humans to have the cognitive ability to understand the truth. Especially in these times when Islam is attacked and misrepresented by [some] Muslims and non-Muslims alike, you have not allowed the waves of ignorance to overtake you. You surf on the highest waves and with no board.
To me, you are proof that God is above all. He is above the evil which intends on shooting down the most complete, flawless, and beautiful faith.

Thank you for upholding the truth. Thank you for being the bearers of the final message. And thank you for fueling me.

Your reward is with your Lord, inshAllah.

Alhmadulillah

11.13.2011

Drive

He drove her to the emergency room. Figuratively and literally. He thought he could assuage the hurt with words, but they hired her blood pressure. He was oblivious, or in denial. It didnt matter what his state was, because he was unwilling to change. One day he may be forced to face the results of his actions. In numbers.
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11.11.2011

High Love

And when in the lowest of moments, in the darkest of times, in the toughest of fights, and most resistant of forces, God sends His love instantaneously without a moment's delay. The fire of love for Him that fueled me has now cooled and become soothing rain. He heard me cry in protection of His blessed word, and immediately sent me words of kindness, a warm embrace, endless love, and unshakable support. He sees all, including that which I cannot. He knows the depth of my heart, more than I do. He is closer to me than my jugular vein.

I love you oh Allah

Lord of the worlds

Truth: Be told!

What is the thickest shield that blinds people from obvious truths? What is the cause of immense prejudice which divides souls and nations? Why is it that people claim to have open minds, when in reality they are simply searching for proofs of their preconceived notions about an entire people? Does freedom of speech mean freedom to aggress without limits? Why are those very same aggressors the largest hypocrites? Why do aggressors erect the stage and provoke a defensive response which they then misconstrue as an offense? When will my religion be understood? When will the ignoramus learn that he does not know?

We are not here to change anyone. We are here to coexist. We are here to be a source of mercy. That is our purpose. Anything out of that is out of the fold of Islam. If our greeting with every passing is "Peace be upon you"; if smiling is considered an act of charity; if your neighbor, whoever they may be, is so precious that it was as if he had a right to your inheritance; if women are encouraged to maintain their last name after marriage because they are not the property of men; if that an orphan's care is of utmost importance; and that killing one man is like killing all of humanity, then HOW in this ferocious world that we live does ISLAM teach violence? HOW? If we were to base a religion on the actions of its proclaimed followers, Christianity would have been considered a terrorist religion hundreds of years ago. The crusades do not represent Christianity. Not to mention the ancient British colonialists that helped destroy all essence of true Islamic tradition, and the current wars that our VERY OWN presidents declare on the innocent.

I have grown tired, I have grown weary, and I have grown to appreciate the struggle the Prophet Mohammad went through when he was stoned out of Taif by children who were instructed by the adults that they need to attack him. He did not throw one stone back. He left peacefully. And instead of praying that God destroy them, he prayed God guide them.  Which He did. And when the Prophet (peace be upon him) forgave the Meccans when he reentered Mecca and did not fight them.

How has all of this been lost? Where has all the proof of Islam's peace gone?
Nowhere.
It is still there. But for those seeking proof of their wicked misconceptions, they will misunderstand anything and believe in fallacies and misrepresentations as the Islamic teachings.

I end my passionate extrusion with the first word God revealed in the Holy Quran, for it is the only way we can eradicate our minds from deformations of the truth.


"Read." [96:1]

11.03.2011

Strong

This is not a game of chess.
I don't make a move, anticipating yours.
I am in constant motion. I retract my thoughts to not feed the beast. I need air. Surfing along the face of the earth, an inch off the ground, teasing and brushing the bushes and buildings, constantly moving.
I will never stop. I will never revert, digress, to impress a lesser being.
I am steadfast, with your fuel or not.
I will never slowdown.

This is not a game of ping pong.
I don't swing my paddle, anticipating an antithetical swing.
I am constantly dancing. I retract my thoughts to not feed the beast. I need space. Gliding along icy caves in the coldest of storms, scraping scratching scathing solid surfaces to chips melted water, constantly dancing.
I will never stop. I will never revert, digress, to impress a lesser being.
I am steadfast, with your arms or not.
I will never stop dancing.

Response

Dear Regina,


Such deep reflections mashAllah. This really moved me.

I understand your struggle. And you are so positive mashAllah. You are not alone in this Regina, there are others who struggle through this as well. Including myself. 

The fear and reality of desertion by a loved one. But they still love us. They just want to love us and want us in their lives in the way they want it. And they want to make decisions that affect everyone, but only 'benefit' themselves. It's a struggle for them too. I think maybe if we reflect on why they do or did what they have, it may help us with coping, understanding, and coming to peace with it. 

It is difficult. And inshAllah the reward is with Allah. 

You know Regina, I have been struggling through some things as well, and although I still feel at ease and content (alhamdulillah) I still don't mind death. I don't mind leaving this world. I don't mind ending my term, my imprisonment in this life. It is not a pessimistic or surrenderist attitude, but one of facing reality and believing in the hereafter. I am only 23. And i have heard much and seen much, and suffered little alhamdulillah. And if at only 23, this much exposure, how much more will be revealed about this world than what has already been? This thought, this perception of the world, in turn forces me to turn to my ONLY Protector, Sustainer. My one and only Waly. Allah. God. No human can help, no human can be relied on, no human can be trusted, except with that Allah Has Guided and Entrusted them with. I speak to you, my love, about this, because I feel all struggles are parallel in one way or another, and that the true solution is to resolve to dependancy only on the Lord. Which you have done. So strongly mashAllah. I admire that.

Keep up the protons. Keep your hope and faith in God, as you have already. Keep me in your prayers. Keep striving to achieve levels of faith that you see but are not working to reach. 

Believe in His Mercy. His Grace. SubhanAllah wa bihamdih. 

Love you Regina,
Leena

Last Memory

By Regina Abdallah
not leenamielus

theres a sting in my chest
with every thought i have
of the last time i saw you

memories how amazing they can be.
the repugnant feeling i have towards you
melts away as i think back to the last time i saw you

my break in emotion is not because you left me with such a touching
memory that my heart softens at the thought of it
no not at all
its the thought that that was the last memory you left for me
maybe not even that
its the thought of what that means to me
maybe not even that?

this last image i will have of you
this image that is ingrained in my mind
this image that breaks the strength i have worked so hard to build
this image you have left me with

it has created such confusion in me

as i bring my head to the floor and bow down to my Lord asking for mercy
Thanking Him for everything He has given me, blessed me with
while lately it doesn't seem like much I think of all the little
things I am blessed with
and then there it goes
flashing before my mind
I shut my eyes tight
not now, please I am trying to be thankful
DEAARR GODD I am thankful
but this pain. as i realize this is the last memory. i will ever
create with him.
and then i think. Dear God thank you for making it a happy memory.
thank you for creating a calm around it. thank you for helping me
remember every little emotion and detail from it
so that i can be grateful that at least it was a goodbye.
I can remember every ray of confidence i had in the fact i would see him again
I can feel in my heart, sure as can be, that I will see that face again
still.
i can feel every. vivid. image in my mind. watching it like a movie
with emotions attached.
Grateful.
HOW?
WHY?

Guilt.
and then the guilt floods in.
How happy can i be that we left on a good note.
I remember the days when i feared things would end on a bad note
I got what i wanted right?
everything done. finished out happily. not knowing.
so where is this guilt coming from?
while i know i can answer the question
i am grateful i dont have to. out loud.

I will be grateful if I never again have to worry about whether my
last memory of you
will evoke a distasteful sadness or a bright, smiling, carefree, easy goodbye.





11.02.2011

I wish

Sometimes I wish I knew less.

Ignorance is attractive.

If I didn't know what words mean, I wouldn't have to use them.

If I didn't know what numbers mean, I wouldn't have to be fair.

If I didn't know what people mean, I wouldn't have to live with them.

If I didn't know what speaking means, I wouldn't have to struggle over words.

If I didn't know what equality is, I would be able to accept oppression, and peacefully.

If I didn't know what my purpose is, I can live everyday, consuming, without reflection.

If I didn't know what thought is, my mind would be a blank canvas echoing nothingness.

If I didn't know what true love is, I wouldn't have to suffer at it's distance.

If I didn't know what justice is, I would easily be able to not demand it when the world urges me to turn my back.

If I didn't know who God is, I would be free to be enslaved.


Ignorance is not bliss.


God said:
"Read"